The Crucible

I honestly didn’t think I’d ever use this again, but in light of recent events, I needed to put my thoughts down somewhere.

Life is a crucible – constantly melting and burning everything within it. And each time the fires die down, everything inside the crucible takes on a new form, a new shape, a new function. We all go through this crucible called life, and although the fires can seem unbearable and overwhelming, we all come out the other side. We always rise from our own ashes. Everything returns again in its changed form. For most, after a number of times changing shape, changing form, we arrive at a point in which we become stable, immune to the effects of the crucible’s fire. We find ourselves, and as such, find our place, and we no longer need the fires.

However, there are some who by their essential nature are bound to remain formless - those who are completely at the mercy of the fires. As the fires change, so do they, tirelessly rising from the ashes and temporarily taking their place in the crucible for a fleeting moment before beginning to change again. They persist in not being what they seem. These are the ones who are most difficult to understand because they are constantly in the process of changing. A process cannot be understood by stopping it. Understanding must move with the flow of the process, must join it and flow with it. To go from constantly changing form to becoming truly formless is difficult to achieve, and requires quite a bit of luck for one to have such an opportunity.

Just as the world needs people of every form and function, the world needs the formless. The formless possess a broad sense of the world, an interest in everything and nothing, always teetering on the precipice of discovery and disaster. Some believe that such an existence is wasted, that the formless go through unneeded pain, frustration, and hardship, and indeed, they go through it, mostly self-inflicted. However, it is in the pursuit of greater purpose, understanding, and meaning than can be defined or grasped.

I am formless. I am driven by my desire to be someone who can be depended on, someone who can effect change. I am currently studying to be a doctor because I feel that that is where I can make a difference where it counts the most. However, I am not bound by a label. I am not bound by an ideal. I am not bound by form. I am of both singular and broad focus; Using no way as way; Having no limitation as limitation; Valuing “being” over “doing”. If one is content, one need not have an ideology of contentment. If one loves, one need not have an ideology of love.

We are all going through the crucible, but we will come out the other side. We always rise again from our own ashes. Everything returns again in its changed form. Some simply become something beyond form.